Dreams and Thomas

So, my friend Eden recommended that I start posting my dreams on my blog, and I think I'm going to follow that advice. She finds them amusing, and most people find them annoying to listen to, so I think it's better all around if I post them online instead of ranting about them to my family. The other night I had two dreams. The first was probably Downton Abbey induced, for it centered around a sorcerer's inheritance dispute. A great sorcerer died, leaving only daughters with no legal claim to his fortune. The eldest daughter, determined, set off into an intense study of arcane magical law in search of some precedent for female inheritance.

There was only one example she could find, dated to about 500 AD. A great sorceress named Morgan found, upon her husband's death, that their entire fortune was to be lost. Unwilling to accept this, she worked powerful magics to send herself back in time and save her husband's life. Returning to the present, she then stabbed the man in the heart. By saving and then destroying his life, she demonstrated complete control over his very existence and, by this claim, demanded his inheritance.

The eldest daughter was slightly horrified by this account, but nonetheless set out to duplicate it. She was just working with her mother to try to discover some magic or medicine that would save her father's life in the past (he died of a heart attack) when I woke up.

After I rolled over and fell back to sleep I had another dream about babysitting on a spaceship. I had to take care of all the kids whose parents were in artificial hibernation. They kept trying to sneak out of the playroom to mess with the time machine down the hall, and I had to keep saying, "Kids, cut it out! You're going to create a time paradox!"

The source of that particular dream is pretty obvious, as I've been nannying in the city for the past couple weeks. In the course of my duties, I have watched a ridiculous amount of Thomas and his Friends in the past week. A couple questions: Why is Thomas "the cheeky one"? I found no grounds for this assessment within the episode. Also, why is "Really Useful" always capitalized? Even when they say it randomly in an episode, you can just hear the capitalization in the stress they put on the words. It's like a fantasy novel, but with British trains.

Speaking of fantasy, something struck me while I was watching the fourth Harry Potter recently. If Dumbledore is a sufficiently accomplished Legilimens to always know when someone is lying to him, how on earth did Barty Crouch Jr. pass himself off as Moody for so long? You could argue that an extremely talented Occlumens (like Snape) could have accomplished this task, but I find it very hard to believe that Crouch was any sort of Occlumens at all. He was extremely unstable, both mentally and emotionally, and the very core of Occlumency is control over your mind and feelings.

And thus ends my random rant for the day.

Weak Linchpins

Well, I haven't posted for about a year on this blog because I am very lazy. I think I might do a bit more this summer, however, seeing as I have nothing better to do. This particular post isn't a review so much as a mini-rant about things that don't make sense. For example, the way that Brandon Sanderson describes the construction of mistcloaks it would be physically impossible for them to have pockets. I should know this, seeing as I sewed one last year for a friend's Halloween costume. Despite this, all the mistborn in the books are forever taking vials and other things out of these mysterious pockets.

More specifically, I wanted to rant a little bit about an catastrophic event in the Harry Potter series that could have been very easily avoided, namely the escape of Peter Pettigrew at the end of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. I just finished re-reading the fourth book, and it struck me all of the sudden how much things would have changed had Peter been properly apprehended by the dementors. First of all, Sirius wouldn't be an outlaw and Harry would be free to go live with him. Second, Lord Voldemort would never have regained his body and probably would never have returned at all. Knowing this, it becomes clear that the entire rest of the series hinges upon Peter Pettigrew's escape, because without that singular event the third book could have ended, "And they all lived happily ever after."

In constructing such an important turning point, Rowling seems to have ignored one immensely obvious possibility: WHY THE HECK DIDN'T THEY STUN THE GUY BEFORE TRYING TO TAKE HIM UP TO THE CASTLE?! They were already floating around one unconscious body (Snape), why not another? Neither Sirius nor Lupin is stupid. They both expected escape attempts. ONE of them at least should have brought up stunning! Harry's admonition not to kill Peter certainly would not have precluded knocking him out. You'd think at least Hermione would mention it...

Anyways, there you go. Harry Potter completely solved and without conflict at the end of the third book. Of course, I love the series, so I'm rather glad it didn't turn out that way despite the loophole.

Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones

Okay, first I want you to picture Jane Eyre. A suppressed young woman - much like an old lady in a young girl's body - decides to leave her oppressive beginnings and make her way in the world. Only now, make it literal - a suppressed young girl cursed to actually look like an old woman. Now for Mr. Rochester... make him ten years younger, give him magical powers, and have him ride an enormous moving castle instead of a stumbling horse. Turn Bertha Rochester into an evil witch ex-girlfriend, and you've got Howl's Moving Castle.

Now, for those of you who haven't read Jane Eyre, I'll have to give a slightly less enigmatic explanation. Howl's Moving Castle is the hilarious story of a young girl named Sophie changed into an old woman by the sinister Witch of the Waste. She then goes out to seek her fortune, and ends up as the cleaning lady of the wizard Howl, reputed to be a demon that devours young girls' hearts. While all this may seem familiar to those who have seen the animated Miyazaki film by the same name, please don't go expecting any more similarities, because there aren't any.

By far the best thing about Howl's Moving Castle is the characters - particularly the interplay between Howl and Sophie. Howl is vain, childish, and selfish, and though he doesn't eat women's hearts, he does certainly seem to have some romance problems. Sophie, on the other hand, is practical, down to earth, plain, and unromantic. The one trait they share is that they're both ridiculously stubborn - leading to a lot of interesting confrontations. Michael, Howl's assistant, also plays an important role, but I'd have to say that by far my favorite character would have to be Calcifer, the fire demon that powers the castle. Diana Wynne Jones had a stroke of genius in creating a creature that was simultaneously so powerful and so vulnerable - able to preform great feats of magic in connection with Howl, but unable to leave his hearth.

Over all, the things that I must stress about this book is that it is witty, clever, and hilarious. I apologize for quality of this review, but the AC in our house is busted, and it's way too hot to think straight - I'm really not doing the book justice. But if you're interested in a lively fantasy with a side of romance, just trust me. This is the book for you.

Five Favorite Movies

As you might have noticed, I've added a new list on the left of the page... something I've been working on for a while. Although it technically has nothing to do with books, I thought I might as well put up my favorite movies here, since it goes so well with my Top Ten. It's a work in progress, so there might be alterations in the near future (contemplating whether The Fellowship of the Rings should be on there) but you'll just have to wait and see.

Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson

Haha, I'm so proud of myself! Look how quickly I've posted a new review! Anyways, as I have already mentioned, A major event happened this November when I was re-reading Mistborn for my school book club. I realized that Mistborn is one of the best fantasy books I've ever read. In fact, I realized it was one of the top ten best books I've ever read. As one of the newer additions to my Top Ten, I thought I ought to tell you why I like Mistborn enough to kick Artemis Fowl out into the cold.

To start off with, Mistborn is like no fantasy book you've ever read. Though it has no excessively startling premise or blatantly self-mocking autofantasy tendencies, it defies genre archetypes more effectively than anything I've ever read. Sanderson builds his world in typical - if unique - high fantasy fashion, but then refuses to have it function the way a normal fantasy world would. Things simply do not turn out the way you would expect them to. For someone who has read fantasy all her life, the genre can usually be reduced into a predictable, if satisfying, A + B = C. Often, it is not even conscious, but when certain events occur, we expect a certain conclusion. Sanderson simply refuses to comply with the formula, building up events in a way one might expect, but ending in a totally different place than a normal fantasy map would lead.

To truly illustrate this point, I need an example. The story starts with your typical evil oppressive empire that must, impossibly, be taken down by a small elite team. A little more surprising is what happens when that team starts planning; Kelsier, the leader, calls "Brainstorming session!", pulls out a blackboard, and starts chalking down ideas.

More than its irregular tempo, which might not even be noticed by a non-fantasy reader, I'd say that Mistborn's most remarkable attribute is its magic system. It's pretty much the coolest thing you'll ever read in your life. It is based on a system of 10 metals, each of which has a very specific property. They come in complementary pairs: tin, for example, heightens senses while pewter heightens physical strength. The whole system takes on an unnatural level of realism because it seems to follow the laws of physics so logically. Iron, for example, pulls at metals near the user. If the object pulled is lighter than the user, then it will fly toward him or her. If the object is heavier then the user, then he or she will fly toward it. It just makes so much sense. The complexity increases when you realize that most people can't use all the metals. The majority of magic-users are Mistings, who can only use one of the 10 metals. Only a very few select people are Mistborn, which can use all the metals.

The final awesomeness that composes Mistborn is the characters. They all rock. The main character, Vin, perhaps is a little obvious. The shy, suspicious street rat that must learn to trust people. That transparency of character, however, simply serves to form a clearer glass for us to view the rest of the characters through. Near the beginning of the book Vin is suddenly thrown in with a high-class thieving guild run by a man named Kelsier, recently returned from the dreaded Pits of Hathsin, from which no man has ever escaped. Kelsier is one of the coolest people I've ever (not actually) met - hilarious, clever, and charismatic. The people who he has drawn to him are no less interesting. My personal favorite of the guild members is Breeze, a portly, over-dressed, and perpetually-irritated Soother (someone who can burn brass and therefore control other people's emotions).

All in all, the book is excessively compelling, surprising, and endearing. Even better, it's the first of a trilogy. The series as a whole (which I noticed as I was reading it and cramming for AP US History at the same time last year) provides a fantastic and unsettling lens for us to view our own history through: the causes and perpetuation of slavery, the aftermath of revolution, the imperfections of even the most idealistic government. You can read them for the epic mistborn fight scenes or look for deeper implications, but either way, READ IT.

Changes to The Ten

Hey! I know it's been longer than forever since I posted, but now it's summer! Yay! That means a lot less school work and a lot more talking about books. Though I have graduation today and I'm sick, I thought I ought to log on and at least post some of the major changes that have occurred in my Top Ten recently. Never have I had so much movement in so little time, so it's really kind of exciting. The first thing you should know is that, as of October, I've ditched Artemis Fowl for Mistborn. I recently re-read the Mistborn series for my school book club, and realized that it really deserves to be in my Top Ten. When it came down to which book I was going to kick out, Artemis Fowl seemed the most obvious choice due to it's blatant lack of literary merit, and the fact that I'm getting a little too old for it. I hesitated at first, though, because I have so many fond memories attached to Artemis. Then the sixth book came out, The Time Paradox, and was so incredibly awful that it tipped me over the edge.

The second important news is that I've finally managed to squeeze The 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear into The Ten. I've been trying to do it for ages, but I loved all the other books way too much to leave them. Then, in an amazing stroke of convenience, my AP Literature class decided to read Hamlet as our post-AP test project, and I shortly discovered I loved it more than The Tempest and A Midsummer Night's Dream combined. So Tempest and Midsummer Night are out, and Hamlet and Bluebear are in.

That about wraps up the breaking news, and hopefully now with all this time on my hands I'll be back to writing reviews in no time!

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

Man, have I been lazy! I'll ask my oh-so-many readers to forgive my lapse, knowing that the start of my senior year has made me quite busy. But fortunately, I return to a task which I can by no means consider drudgery. The Hobbit is the warmest, fuzziest book I know, and I'm sure it will be as much a pleasure to review as it always is to read.

Why The Hobbit, you ask? Why not Tolkien's true masterpiece, The Lord of the Rings? Firstly, because there is a fair amount of cheating going on here. I couldn't exactly fit the entire series into The Top 10 without excluding several other worthy books, so I simply included the first book as a representative of the series. Second of all, The Hobbit is by far my favorite book in the series. Despite The Fellowship's epic beginnings, despite The Two Towers's turmoil of emotion, and despite The Return of the King's victorious conclusion, The Hobbit is still the book I turn to when I am in need of comfort.

The Hobbit is a teddy bear. There's no better way to describe it. The book is so innocent and sweet that it takes on a childish, fairytale-like air which is enchanting to no end. Bilbo makes the perfect reluctant hero, forever thinking fondly of his fire at home and yet always drawn on by his "Tookish" attraction to adventure. There is nothing evil, nothing sinister, nothing even of the disillusionment of maturity in his nature. He encounters hardship, but never does it taint him, never does it penetrate his child-like innocence. And most of all, every time Bilbo mutters, "Confusticate and bebother these dwarves!" I can't help but want to hug him.

I am trying to make these reviews shorter, so to wrap up I declare that The Hobbit is the Song of Innocence to The Lord of the Ring's Song of Experience. It is not a "nasty, dirty, wet" book "filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy" book "with nothing in it to sit down on or eat." It is The Hobbit, "and that means comfort."